Having your own man cave complete with a Little Rascals-inspired “Heman Woman Haters Club” sign on the door is the dream of many men who never quite grew up. Judging from all the fun full-grown boys tend to have, it’s easy to see why the fantasy is there. Whoever said you have to spend half your time slaving away at work, and the other half cleaning or hanging out in front of the TV?
You may not go to the extremes these guys did, but you can still build yourself a very respectable man cave. Your cave is your place to contemplate life, work on your ride—if you can call that working—and most importantly get away from the frilly, effeminate world where an innocent compliment can turn into a lawsuit. Let’s check out a few ways you can turn an average room into an all-out man cave through the use of superior technology like direct TV.
TV
No man cave is ever complete without a TV. Nothing is more crucial to the experience of a man’s domain than being able to order up a movie on DirecTV or Hulu and just relax. Even Batman had an impressively large TV in his cave.
While you might not have Bruce Wayne’s budget, the rule is still “a TV as big as you can fit on the wall and afford.” Also make sure your TV has a crisp monitor on it. The whole idea is to create a fantasy place. Unless your fantasies involve a lot of squinting and having to wear glasses a few years from now, spend a little more on a great TV.
Sound System
It’s all about the music, men. Whether you get down to classical music, old school rock ‘n roll or hardcore metal, in this cave you don’t just want to hear the music. You want to feel the music vibrating through every cell of your body.
You want to have to grasp your beer with both hands so it doesn’t vibrate out of your grip and end up on the floor. For a great sound system, you want massive speakers with a never-ending stream of music. You can run your cave concert off of iTunes, your personal music collection or even stream it from an online radio station.
Power Tools
It wouldn’t be a man cave without some tools on hand. You just never know when you’ll need to tighten, loosen, fasten or break something. If your ride needs a tune-up, you just read “some assembly required” or you’ve got a great idea for a piece of furniture, this is your place to make it happen. Some of the most awesome power tools out there will let you do pretty much everything short of raising the dead.
While most of the time you have to limit yourself to what’s portable, in your cave you can have it all. Go ahead and splurge on a 5hp table saw, and a planter with enough clearance to shave an oak tree. In your cave, you can be the consummate builder.
Video Games and Pinball Machines
Arcade games are one of the quintessential parts of being a kid at heart. If you dropped enough quarters into your game of choice back in the day to finance a college degree, your cave needs its own cabinet. If you don’t want to clutter up your space with a hundred games, you can actually build your own cabinet and use an emulator like MAME to run thousands of older games. The best part is now you don’t have to blow your quarters.
If you’re a pinball player by nature, you can find all kinds of sweet classic machines on eBay. With a little bit of polishing up every so often, you can have both a lot of fun and a great little investment to leave your grandkids. The only bad thing about having your own pinball machine is that it’s easy to be the entire high score list and think you’re hot stuff when you’re nothing compared to the pros.
Seating
What’s your perfect chair? Some guys love a good rustic chair made out of tree branches they hauled home in classic lumberjack style. Other guys are great with something a bit more civilized and seriously plush. Still other guys see their throne as much as a work of art as just something to sit on during a movie or the game.
Your chair choices are incredibly vast. There’s even a chair that vibrates in tune to your music, so you can feel it even without cranking your speakers. Remember that relaxation and exhilaration are the only things you should ever experience in your man cave throne. This is the seat of your dominion, and you should probably even get one with a remote holster so you don’t have to keep a bulky table next to it.
Eats
There are three very important components of the eats you take into your man cave: they don’t have to be healthy if they’re delicious, you shouldn’t have to leave your cave to enjoy them, and having the fire department called on your grilling technique is a badge of honor.
If you love popcorn, get a retro-style popper and turn every day into a day at Coney Island. If you’ve got a favorite food, keep a fridge dedicated exclusively to it right on hand. Some of the best man caves actually have two fridges: one for food, and one for beer.
If you’re not a big drinker, that’s fine. You can set up a soda bar where you make root beer floats instead. There’s no taste combination quite like jalapeno nachos with a root beer float.
IN CONCLUSION
Your man cave is obviously up to your rules. If you don’t want it, it isn’t so. But when you do set up your man cave, make sure you’ve got the best you can find of everything you love. Your man cave is your temple to the joy of raw, unfiltered masculinity, and everything therein should reflect this pure grown-man boyish spirit.